Sunday, October 4, 2009

i don't want to be anything other than what i been trying to be lately

sometimes i like to pretend that i'm a part time working mom. most of the time actually. before i had children,
i NEVER wanted to be working. not even a little bit.

i was convinced that it would be nothing but blissful to have nothing to do all day, but nurture my household. but as i get older i have learned to separate the me that i thought i was going to be from the me that God designed. truth is...i admire moms that find total satisfaction in that. that is the kind of mom that my mother is. and i think part of me thought that i would just automatically morph into her. not so though. here i am. still identifying with my 8 year old weird self at times. some things don't change. and thankfully some things do.

and technically i guess i am part-time. two days a week is hard to complain about. just enough to get focused on something entirely different from my norm, and of worth for a bit and yet still doing the at home gig for everybody most of the time. but...... my responsibilities there run thick. i am responsible for much and when push comes to shove, that place needs me as if it were a newborn child at times. and i have to stop everything in my life for it. hence, our summer and partial fall. as tends to be with anything significant, there are many details i could give. but i'm just not sure where to start.

in short, we were required to be nationally accredited, an extremely expensive and intensive process that required me and mi ladies to drop everything to make happen. i will not get into how hard we rocked the plizzy. just know that the hizzy was rizzied while one of us was incubating a life and while four other little ones learned to rely on their daddies in ways that bang bang shrimp from bonefish grille cannot thank one daddy enough for.

but oh, is this all worth it, dear fam? will you remember this year, beautiful children?

but now we are home together. catching up. i'm learning that somewhere between june and september, these girls became gavin degraw groupies and there isn't any turning back.

i'm very close to "losing" this chick fil-a kids meal cd goodness, but not sure i can break their little hearts like that. could you?