sisters gotta hug

4 and 2 year old sisterhood is all about....


being "in the know" if the other has found something noteworthy like a fascinating garbage truck to stalk until it is 100% out of site.

knowing how to get the biggest, longest, loudest laughs out of eachother.

finding any reason in the ding dang world to fight. topping the charts lately is who will sit on my lap and who gets to press buttons for ANYTHING. like the microwave, the tv, the elevator...

or conversations that start things like this one recently:

olive: look mommy that's a chicken
lucy: that's NOT a chicken. that's a pee-pee.
olive: no it is not a pee-pee. it's a CHIIIIIIIIIICKEN!!

make sense? exactly.


and finn has added a whole other set of things to dispute over . like who will shut his door after he's been put down for a nap, who will then open that door when he's back up again. and he takes like 3 naps a day so this gets real old, real quick.

and who gets to feed him?

lucy won this round.






















sometimes they take turns nicely. finn doesn't care a bit. as long as you keep the spoon to mouth pace up, he's happy.









scaring their mommy half to death.
since finn's arrival 8 months ago i have been scared at least once a week by baby dolls in odd places. here's the real finn. enjoying his porridge like a little bear.


and here is what i thought was finn in my peripheral vision for a split, horrifying second on the way to the bathroom the other day.

those girls! and other times fake finn is lying mangled in a corner or is strapped into the baby swing on the swingset in the pouring rain. everytime causing me mini milisecond meltdowns until i have come to my senses and remember that fake baby finn is indeed not finn, my sweet biscuit. finn is napping safely in his crib. no one forgot him in the backyard during a thunderstorm. lately fake finn is the baby above, but there has been a fake finn his whole life because my girls have dolls that come in all sizes that finn at one point or another has passed as. i'm getting used to it finally.


loving to do the same odd things. one of their very favorite things to do currently is to ask eachother to hit their baby doll and then they come to their babies rescue with lots of "oh, honeys", hugs and kisses.




lucy is most certainly wiping her baby bee here and olive definitely has two different socks on that aren't even close.










joining forces for a common goal.
dear, nonnie. we want to come to your house because we think you are pretty. - that's what i was told this letter said. right now we are going through a major 100yearoldhousedust filled, displacing kitchen renovation. we have been over to my parents house almost constantly. now that it is the weekend and the work has halted till monday we are home trying to manage in our house. every corner has a pile of dishes or pots and pans. it's hard for robbie and i. we find lots of reasons to argue when there is no sense of order. but it will be so very worth it in the end and really is a dream come true. but all that to say that the girls, today, are having major nonni withdrawal.













i think lucy thought we had moved in and is taking it the hardest.

all the kids love this swing on my parents deck.











truthfully there has been no greater joy for me as a mom than to watch my kids develop their relationships with eachother. the people watcher in me finds it fascinating. i love that lucy has adopted olive's passion for all things medical. and that lucy totally buys that anna, (i found out that her full name is annabell) exists. and i love that sometimes the only one that can translate for lucy is her "ollo". "she's crying because she wants you to blow her a kiss and a hug" oh ok as i'm trying to figure out how to blow lucy a hug.

and you know what else is just so much fun to watch? the differences in them. i feel like i can see who olive is going to be because lucy's personality makes olive's pop out and become obvious and vice a versa. this picture is a microcosm of their differences.

lucy makes a gigantic mess of either herself or of whatever space she is in EVERYDAY. and that's the biggest understatement of my blog, folks. this yogurt on her arm is small potatoes to the norm for her. she almost always has butter in her hair, something foreign in her nose, magic marker in her ears, a ring o' dirt in her neck crease and in her fingernails, ketchup smeared clothes halfway hanging off her body, and face down licking something purple and unidentifiable off the bathroom floor.

olive is exactly opposite of everything above. she hates to be dirty or wet in the least bit. in the picture above she is fussing over something imaginary on her arm. she carries wipes in her purse just in case. she has a panic attack if she cannot brush her teeth before bed. she changes her hair style 3 times a day.

oh these girls are crazy, but they are mine.

and i love me some them.

thank you for humoring me, part two

ok, so i've had a lot of questions in my comments, on facebook, via telephone and email about my last post. maybe you all were just being kind. but just in case you weren't i don't want to leave you hanging in your VERY uncool quest you are joining me in. i honestly hope you find some success in this and that it helps you fund your families' real heart's desire. so i'm going to answer some questions on the methods that i use to get this beast under control.

can i just also say how relieved i am to know that i am not the only one this ridunkulous!

life is full in a wonderful way
apart from my not so part-time job, our church, our friendships, our kitchen renovation and just all those other little commitments you find yourself in there are...

easter eggs to be dyed













vegetable, herb, and flower seeds to start

ropes to be jumped

and beautiful baby boys to obsessively photograph









so i'm not going to lie and say that this does not take work or time. it truly is a part time job in itself. developing a method for the work has made it manageable to me. i like order, structure, lists, and plans by the way. it's part of the fabric of me. if you happen to be cut from the same cloth...this is how i handle some of the facets of it all.

planning the attack

i am not sure how anyone reaps the full benefits of couponing without the grocery game. this is a site that you can pay a minimal amount to save you a ton of time and track the stores you want to shop at. each week they give you a color coded list of the week's sales. somehow they even know the sales that are not even advertised in the flyer or on the shelf. i'm not sure why the store does not show all the sales they are doing, but it is true - they do not. on their list, the black items are OK prices (if you must buy them, then do), the blue items are the things that if your household uses them then you should stock up on - meaning buy as many as you have coupons of and room in your house for. blue is what they call a rock bottom price and their research on the item has shown that combined with the coupon, you will most likely not find a better price for the item for at least another 3 months. the green items are those you can get for free. these are rare for grocery stores but often for drug stores you will find green on the list. the list will also tell you what coupon to use and will have the date beside it to show you what week it came in the sunday paper. (some people actually don't cut their coupons and just file them uncut in file folders that are dated with sundays and pull out and cut as needed - which i think is not a bad idea).

* you really can generally trust this list. i have had a rare occasion where they were off completely. but they are so in the know that even when the store shelf price isn't claiming it's on sale, the receipt confirms that it was.

* an example of how a green item works... last week at ingles french's worcestire sauce was on sale for .98. i had 3 coupons for 1.00 off. so i got 3 bottles for free.



where to get coupons?

while there are a lot of ways people go about this, i will just tell you where i get them.
1) the sunday paper is a must. this site can tell you each week what to expect. if you know people that get the sunday paper that don't save their coupons, ask them if they'd mind giving them to you. this will help you start a good stockpile.
2) samples usually come with coupons. check this website often for a list of samples and other freebies. the small sizes are very convenient for traveling.
3) stores have little coupon dispensers that attach to shelves.
4) the internet is such a wonderful resource b/c you can just print what you want. sites like coupons.com lets you print things numerous times. i also try to visit my favorite frugal living blogs once a week where they post links to tons of coupons.

drug stores are the bomb diggity
i can't speak for them all. but i love to shop at rite aid and cvs and here is why. you can get the things that they carry for dirt cheap and many things free if you play there games right. these are the places that have built up my stockpile the most. i had no idea how much we go through these things. i'm not going to re-invent the wheel here so i'll post the links on how these drug store games work.
cvs -
this is a great explanation. my only notes on this link is that i use the grocery game to track this store. another great thing about cvs is that they sell sunday papers all week long until they run out. so if you forget on sunday to get your coupons you can usually find them anyday there.

rite aid -
couldn't find a great explanation on how this works, but this is pretty helpful. i also have the grocery game track this for me to let me know what is a great or free deal here. best thing about rite aid is that you can often times get make up for free.

stockpiling

i did not intend to stockpile at first. it didn't make sense to me to spend money when you didn't need something in the very immediate future. wasn't the point to save money? but i'm a little stubborn and have to learn the hard way. stockpiling allows you to never pay near full price for the things that you use and is THE reason that our expenses have cut in half. another benefit of it is that you are not running to the store because you are out of something which has cut the chaos level in my house tremendously. and it's easy to make impulse buys while you are there to pick up that one thing.

but once i decided that stockpiling was the bees knees i went a little crazy on the deals. so because i personally have trouble knowing when to stop i bought bins for things and stop stocking up on something when it's full. with food items i have no bins, i just stop stocking up after i have 5 (seemed like a good number) of the same thing so that i can make sure things won't go to waste before we can use them. but with other things like toilet paper, shampoo, soap, toothpaste, medicine, and other toiletries i have a bin for each. this works for me.

most of the time that i shop i sweat before i make it to the cashier and sheepishly hand over my wad o' coupons. i feel like i've got "cheap" tattoed to my forehead or something. and then i usually get some worn out, over it, cashier who can't be bothered with my nonsense. if they have trouble with one coupon they'll just toss those babies without even asking me. they huff and puff at me like they've got better things to do. but every now and again i will have a cashier that seems genuiniely though mildly enthusiastic about the savings that i've just gotten. but i have and may never again have an experience like i had the other day at ingles. the lady cashier and the teenage bagboy were MORE excited than i was. i kid you not.

first she asks me for my card and i hand it over.
teenage bag boy asks if i mind if we wait to scan it till the very end, explaining that he loves to see all the money deducted. it's the little things i guess.
um, sure we can and i have like 30 coupons too.
precious teenage bag boy says "sweet"- can we scan those before we do the card?
um, yes and can i adopt you?
wise, precious teenage bag boy then notes that almost everything i've bought is on sale. then after noticing that i'm stocking up on olive oil, yogurt, and some other things, that i'm also saving trips to the store.
is he after my own heart?
wise, precious, unadoptable teenage bag boy then drumrolls before my card is scanned and as the numbers start falling he literally is jumping up and down, hand over his mouth, telling the people in line to come look.
at this point i'm a little embarrassed. but i just saved $75, so only kinda.





and then when i got home to tell robbie and thus prove how much of a score he got by even marrying me, he implies that maybe these folks were making fun of me with this charade and that i may have been the laughing stock of their day. i'm pretty sure he's just jealous though of the soul connection that took place between me and the bagboy that fateful afternoon.










so this all sounds pretty daunting and involved and maybe i'm a cornball, but i find this really fun and a game for sure. i have such a hard time buying anything now if it's not on sale and i don't have a coupon for it (ie: stacking). i know i'm posting this to the uniworld here, but i still feel really secretive about it. like that it ruins my reputation (you know...the really fly one i had going). well i hope i've helped. this has been a very humbling experience revealing all of this.

what i didn't want to tell you, but must

it is with much anxiety that i write this next post. because let's just say you thought i was just a little bit tolerable. get ready to let go of that. i have a major coupon book now and in a major way. think this (scroll down to the video on her coupone binder), but alphabetized, unlabeled, and possibly bigger if you can fathom it.

let me walk you down the path that leads me to here...exposing the thing you wish you didn't know about me. there was an unfortunate event where i was caught on top of the washing machine assessing my stockpile shelf by someone that has known me for quite sometime.



my sister em with ava. ; )




one defensive explanation on top of that washing machine led to another and before i knew it i was baring my soul and presenting my coupon book and all its glory. i will not/can not do that here today. we're just gonna talk about it is'all. i'm just not ready yet. in fact i usually take it to the store with me and look both ways before i expose it in all its trapper keeper loveliness. though if you pretend that you are interested, i'm very easily persuaded to show you.


robbie pretends he's disgusted with all of this, but when he's not running to the store in a poop emergency with only diapers on the list (because we're stockpiled on diapers for at least a month!)....he LOVES it. just the very very quiet kind of way you can love something. you know the kind.



yes, things have changed quite a bit from my last post about toying with this coupon/stockpiling lifestyle. i'm in like flynn with it and there is no turning back. i've been doing this since then and it has proven to be worth my time. for the first 6 months or so i tracked my spending here. the first few months i did not really spend less, which i had heard that may happen when you start stocking up. but after a few months our grocery expenses have literally cut in half. the savings are definitely worth the little time that i have and if savings can be computed to getting paid - then it definitely pays more per hour than my job.

the other day olive asked me if next time we go to the store i could get her some blueberry yogurt. i told her that yes, i could. but then she hesitated....


"...but do you have a coupon for it and will it be on sale?"

it was then that i realized that this was going to be a little part of my legacy with them. you know how there are these things in life that make your mom, your mom?

like with my mom...it's the black licorice, the feasting when you are in her presence, the asian way she answers the phone, the mixing up of (very, VERY) common phrases, the Bible reading on the porch, the "global thinking", and the "this is the truth" talk. love you, mom.

and i have mixed emotions about how this will read to my own children one day. i want to keep my motives in check for why i do what i do. so, kids (if you do read this when you are "of age"), money is NOT everything or anything really unless you are CHANGING peoples lives with it and actually that truth is something that comes to mind when i think about my mom too. the older she gets, the more that she says that. and i am learning that the more you let it go, the more you attach to things that can really fill you up.


so i say, keep an eye on what God has blessed you with and keep checking yourself that your heart is not wrapped around it.






the girls now collect their own coupons. i passed down my original coupon book to them and they beg me for coupons that i won't use. you know you've got a problem when you can't even spare one. i save my expired ones for them. they also cut up random papers and declare them coupons. it's funny to see these glimpses of how they must view me. geesh, i'm awesome.





things i have let go of:

brand specific"ness" or pickiness, if you will. truth is. it don't matter usually. USUALLY. i still need my mitchum deoderant. i apparently sweat mud brown without it. though lately i am branching out to other deoderants that claim "clinical strength". cause that's what it's gonna take. but this can work in reverse too. i used to only buy off brand diapers. but recently had like 5 coupons for $5 off a package of huggies (i got 2 babes in diapers). waited for the sale and got 5 jumbo packs of diapers for $4 a piece. i am cringing at myself and begging me to shut up by the way right now. but this all must come out.

paying anything for toothpaste and paying more than a dollar for shampoo or conditioner: this is only if you do the CVS extra care buck thing. there is always a free deal for toothpaste every couple months. and always coupons for shampoo/conditioner making the dollar rule of thumb possible.

thinking about what i'm going to feed these kids: i don't have to think about what to feed the kids for breakfast and lunch. i buy what i find first at amazing savings (because i really do like feeding my family organic- and that is how we can afford to) and then what i find on sale and matched w/ a coupon. it is virtually decision free. tuna is what we have this week, kids. eat it or survive on your dora the explorer vitamin.



anyway, i'm nothing if not a promoter of things that are working for me. and i'm just popping in to tell you that i have very little spare time (this place helps in the time department and finds the sales that aren't even in the ads)and yet this is something that is worth that time. may i suggest before making some drastic financial decision in this tight economy to try this first? if you happen to be interested ask me and i'll talk your ear off about it sometime.


poor, poor, poor sweet tessa and her unborn daughter. she is my oldest friend that i still have (i think we're going on 17 years?) anyway she has seen me through "my new things" and then some. she made the mistake of asking me about this recently and i emailed her my thesis on it.





thank you, God, that people love me DESPITE

so here it is. that's enough about all that! so please, please come out of the woodworks here and tell me that you secretly do this stuff too. or tell me other nerdy things about you. i can't be alone in my nerdiness.

i believe....

julie here tagged me in a game. i did this on facebook, but i think i got too serious with it and did not follow the rules. i'm gonna try again and take it down a notch.

Here are the rules:
write 5 "beliefs" ...rules you live by and you are not allowed to get serious or preachy, political or religious! These are just for fun and to see if other people are as quirky as you!

1. i believe in thermal shirts under t-shirts.

2. i believe in goodwill thrift stores.

3. i believe in baby feet.


















4. i believe in a nationally recognized/federally regulated naptime everyday where you don't have to nap, but you do have to shut the crud up for 2 hours.

5. i believe in little girls in tights and little boys in baby blue.





i tag erin, sonia, and the gorman-fancy's!

i've done learned that

so as i delve deeper into my motherhood reflections and contemplate all my current struggles and faulty areas, i realize that after 4 years of this and 3 kids (whoa!)





our family at the open hearts work of heART exhibit






there are some things that i do know work for us. it is true. i have not done all of this in vain. i am like a hunter always searching for things to make this life easier, flowing, and (my favorite) more joyful. i am determined to make the present a time that we can be sure we did our best to enjoy. want to hear about what i've learned so far? i just love a good list. in no particular order whatsoever.

1) music is essential here. amongst all the painting


reading

tea parties, etc it is possible for a girl (me) to get a little...well, bored. i was my own person before all this, ya know?that's where "my jams" come in. if they are on in the background and i can sing or dance along while we're in the midst of all our little one fun, then i'm happy as a bird. or i've found that when i can sense that they are bored, which leads to fighting and other mosh pit like behaviors, that putting their music on puts them in a better mood and makes olive
forget that she wants to watch hours of television at a time. she just plum doesn't think about it as much, which leads to less arguments between her and i. which leads to domestic bliss, and indirectly world peace.

2) i have learned to say "yes" more. otherwise known as the popular "pick your battles". if olive
wants me to sing christmas carols in the summer before every nap and bedtime. i just do it.
if lucy needs to
run a lap around the table halfway
or quarterly throughout dinner. why not?


when every 10th second of their lives isn't a bad decision, we can work on these smaller annoyances. if they need to try on 3 pairs of gloves, working hard at getting each little finger in- before deciding on not wearing any of them at all in the end. even if it takes 10 minutes. i TRY to be patient (multi-tasking by picking up in the room to keep my mind off of their pokiness) i have been minutes behind a bad wreck that if i had hurried us out of the door instead of letting them take their sweet time - we might have been involved in. all i'm saying is that i have had to chill out a lil' bit.

you will notice that my children will not be the tamest ones you've ever seen out in public. but there are 3 little people we must consider for every tiny little thing and there just simply isn't the energy to work on every single challenge. so we focus on what we think are the biggies or at least they get on OUR nerves enough to not let them go ignored. and you don't know how painful this is for me to write this one. i have always been the kind of person that judged parents up and down for things. but now i really do get it. part of the battles you have to pick and choose every day is the battle to stay sane as well. i cannot happily parent if i'm nitpicking. i can't believe how much crow i am eating right now, by the way.

3) i have learned to say "no" more. it wasn't until a wake up call a few weeks back watching super nanny (yes, i love her) that i realized that i am not allowing my children to grow up in certain areas. olive for instance wants help finishing the last few bites of her meal to get to her dessert faster. and by "help" i mean spoon feeding her. for the past little while doing this makes me want to gag. hearing the silverware clink her teeth and then watching her big girl mouth chew and swallow - wasn't actually making my day. but i was doing it anyway. WHY? so she could have her dessert? why do i care if she gets to her dessert? so i finally have said "no, you are too big of a girl now." so i noted to self, "if it makes me cringe, i should just say no". when you are grossed out or overly annoyed doing something, it doesn't make you supermom to keep doing it. it will chip away at your joy actually. someone told me something once that i'll never forget. something like "you won't be annoyed at your children when you know they are doing the best that they can do." we don't get annoyed changing our babies diapers. but we do get annoyed changing our 3 year old's.

4) guilt has no business in your parenting or life at all, even if you're not a parent. it isn't from God. it is an evil way to rob your joy. there is a darkness in this world that would have us hating the good that we are doing. i used to get so angry at myself when i was frustrated with the kids. i would will myself into enjoying it. but i felt like a timebomb.


when i would hear that breaking point in robbie's voice when he'd had enough with the littles, the one that i had been suppressing all day long, i would get upset in my heart at him because he had no shame in it. but he was right and i wasn't. it's ok to feel like that. the way that you feel about your children is such a complicated love. for the first couple of years you get so used to feeling nothing but love so rich it brings you to tears. and then comes frustration so deep it can scare you. i call them love struggles.

so now i have learned that i need to respond to his breaking point by stepping in and taking over until he cools down. it is how he has always responded to my breaking point. and i have learned to except that reprieve without guilt. we always come back better and put back together.

5) photography. when the house is so messy (please see last post) and the kids won't get along and work is calling and you can't find your phone and there is spit up in your hair and no one has been bathed in days or a week and a half (sorry, finn)
and the noise level is inconceivable................life is still beautiful.
but it is really hard to remember that with just my own two eyes. so sometimes i get behind the lens and it helps. for instance. look at this moment.











paint on her face and grubby hands. this is a lot like how it looks in real life. nastiness and right up in my grill. if this picture could scan back you'd see that paint is covering her dress and up on her hairline too.

but there is a beautiful way to look at every moment in life. you just have to find it. and this is where i found mine.






took awhile to find it but look at her sweet little legs. this is a perfect example too of why i don't really do "play clothes" for the kids. why save all the cute stuff? i need to see them in their best every day. it helps me to remember that this life we're living is beautiful. even the nothing days at home. they are beautiful too.



6) their naptime is my time to do exactly what i want to do. cleaning and cooking are done while they are awake. yes i know that this takes away from our playtime together. but i'm not a kid and i don't enjoy playing all day long. (this took me forever to get to this point where i could admit that). what has resulted from this change is that they have a) become more independent

b) developed their friendship


c) become inspired to help out


and d) led to some hilarious discussion while we cook and clean

olive: mommy, we prayed for our president at school this morning. his name is Guac Obama

lucy: Rock o Mama!

olive to lucy: Rock o Mama needs to rock his body




7) and lastly pray outloud and keep your Bible out. my dear friend and mentor really barbara encouraged me to keep my Bible out and read it here and there while we play. this is what has happened as a result. but it has been worth it. the girls ask me to read it now while we paint or play and i get tiny tidbits of inspriation as we go along.


prayer....sometimes i pray really inspiring things that should be dubbed and sold to millions. and sometimes i just pray that God would help me not to beat them. whatever it is, they need to hear that He is where i turn to. my help is in Him. and i'm finally, finally learning that. what have you learned?

dear lord, help us......

it's time for confessionals again.




this room represents how my head feels. this room represents how my heart feels. actually every picture makes it look cuter than it feels. this third child business is rocking my ever loving world. truthfully he is so very wonderful and is the "easy" in my house. the breath of fresh air.

WHAT is not to love? not one little thing.

i could eat...him...up
this child does not want for love

i just can NOT seem to get my act together. i am constantly in prayer these days. i seriously listen to a sermon every day just to stay encouraged. my workload has doubled lately though i'm trying desperately to keep my hours to what they were at before. but that place really needs me full time right now..... but so do my children.



we are having growing pains in a big way. i need help with some functional things here. back to the first picture. how do i keep all of the toys organized? is their some secret system that all you moms have figured out and are hiding from me. because i cannot figure out how to get everyone to just put LIKE THINGS TOGETHER. when all the little peoples, legos, baby doll stuff is together...they have so much more INDEPENDENT fun = mommy is less likely to lock herself in the bathroom. i have started spending all of our spare money on bins. and i try to sort everything quickly at the end of the day so that it is there ready for them to destroy again in the morning. seriously. how do you keep it all attractively organized? robbie and i do NOT thrive in a house like this. it stalls us. it paralyzes us. we find reasons to argue when the house looks like this. but my body actually aches during the kids naptime, begging me to just sit and do nothing that resembles cleaning. what are your secrets? spill it!